We're Not Broken
by LookAtAlllTheLeavesInTheFire
Summary: Beca could hear her partner twisting and turning on the other side of the mattress, but couldn't- or wouldn't –will herself to try to comfort her. Chloe would lie awake at nights, Beca farther away from her than ever before. Sometimes she could hear Beca talking in her sleep. Sometimes horrible words.


**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or the song Just Give Me A Reason by: P!nk**

_Just give me a reason;  
__just a little bit's enough.  
__Just a second, we're not broken just bent.  
And we can learn to love again.  
It's in the stars,  
it's been written in the scars of our hearts,  
we're not broken just bent,  
and we can learn to love again._

* * *

Beca could hear her partner twisting and turning on the other side of the mattress, but couldn't- or wouldn't –will herself to try to comfort her. Chloe would lie awake at nights, Beca farther away from her than ever before. Sometimes she could hear Beca talking in her sleep. Sometimes horrible words.

* * *

_When they had met only two years before Beca, a somewhat intimidating and wildly passionate with her music, stole Chloe's heart. More than metaphorically. Sure, Beca wasn't the best person on earth, but she mean well when she took Chloe's heart-shaped cookie at the café. She even had every intention of paying the red head back, should she ever see her again._

_And yes, Chloe was a little angry that her cookie was stolen, but making a big fuss over such a little thing was actually quite irrational._

_Less than a week later, at that same time, Chloe had a dollar bill presented before her while she was drinking her coffee and thinking about what her financial plan was. There was a quick exchange of words. An explanation and an acceptance, but what the small brunette didn't plan on was her victim's attempts to be friends with her. She just guessed it was the woman's way of trying to tell her that cookie stealing was alright, just this once. Beca hated the way she was attracted to the ginger, not in a creepy sexual way, but more of a 'Hey, lets be friends,' kind of way._

_Chloe had completely opened up to Beca, in a way nobody has done to her ever before. It was hard to tell if it was because that was just her personality, or some other reasons she did not want to think too deeply about._

_And in a with that being said, Beca had a way of coming easily to Chloe. But she hardly spoke. She didn't question it because it was nice to finally have a friend that understands, or at least pretends to. She found it so peculiar that as she told Beca her flaws and doubts about herself, Beca always found a way to make her feel better about it. Fixing her in a way. And she loved it._

* * *

Chloe would lie awake at nights, Beca farther away from her than ever before. Sometimes she could hear Beca talking in her sleep. Sometimes horrible words. Things that usually break any relationship into pieces. Things that should be tearing them apart in a spontaneous outbreak of love and hate and all things dreadful. But she kept those words to herself, not knowing what else to do with them. All of the "I never loved you's," and the "I've had enough of our love's," and the rare "I won't cry when you die's," stayed silent and floating around in her mind. Haunting her.

"Why?" Chloe blurted out of nowhere, catching herself off guard.

"Excuse me?"

"Why are we doing this to ourselves?" Chloe now demanded answers for the words. "We know that we're both far too broken to get anything out of… Whatever this is. We know that all anything ever does is burn and break and end. So why do we even bother?"

Beca was slightly taken back from her statement. "Whoa, hold on a second. One, we are not broken. We are simply…" She paused, racking her mind for the right word, and 'completely fucked up' wasn't going to cut it. "Bent. And two, we're doing this so we can learn to love again."

"So we're not planning for us to work?" Chloe tried to understand what Beca was saying, but when she starts to get even the slightest bit of urge to talk as the next great philosopher, even when it's a lame attempt, Chloe stops understanding.

"No- I mean yes, we are trying to work. It's like some sort of lovey juju."

"Lovey juju? How does that…? What?"

Beca shrugged. "I don't know, I guess some great writer wrote it in the stars long ago. And you know how _that _ goes," Beca rolled her eyes. "What's written in the stars gets translated into our hearts and blah, blah blah, blah blah."

Chloe scoffed at Beca's sad attempt to make her feel better. "As if! Our hearts are too scared for anything productive to be written on them."

"Gosh, you sound so negative. I thought we were fine."

"We are!" Or as Chloe thought, '_We were.'_

"You've been acting all weird again, lately. Chlo, we still have it all. All this is just in your mind. Calm down."

* * *

_It was true. It had barely taken Beca about a month of dating when she learned. Learned about night terrors. Dreams so real it could leave Chloe cowering in the corner, screaming. Beca never knew what the dreams were about since Chloe refused to talk about them, but they had to be bad to leave a grown woman in tears, paranoia and being awfully jumpy for the next day._

_One time in particular, Beca was jolted awake by screaming and thumping on the wall. Of course, with her bungled brain, her first thought was rape, but that was highly improbable. She ran to the TV room, where the redhead was crouched down in a corner with her hands pressed firmly against her ears and hitting her head repeatedly on the wall like she was trying to shake bugs out. It was scary._

_Beca rushed to Chloe's side, in fear of something she didn't know. She sang a song. It wasn't anything exceptional, just a song. It was the first thing that came to mind though. '_Just close your eyes, the sun is going down; you'll be alright, no one can hurt you now. Come morning light, you and I'll be safe and sound.'

_The breakdowns became a more frequent thing as their relationship carried on. At first, it was maybe once every 3 months. Then its was once every 2 months. Once a month and now its at twice a month. Beca has tried to get Chloe medication, but she says it'll only make her worse._

* * *

Chloe stared at her with a death glare. "Whatever. I'm going for a walk. Don't set this place on fire." She grabbed her house keys and closed the door loudly.

"That was a one time thing!" Beca yelled back, though she was already gone.

She went down to a park that is about half a mile away. She sat on the bench under a willow tree and checked her phone

To: Chloe Beale (555-425-2522)

From Beca Mitchell (555-285-1314)

8 NEW MESSAGE(S)

-Chloe im sorry

-Please come back

-I dont know what i did but im sorry

-Chloe!

-Im getting worried

-Please answer

-Chloe beale you answer me right now or i will make amy release her kraken upon you

-No im sorry forget that last text

She stared at each one for at least a minute. Then the water works went into overdrive. It was silent but still, crying is crying, right? She was just so confused.

* * *

Beca started unscrewing a rusting towel holder by the sink. She needed something to distract her Chloe. Obviously, she needed her space right now. After throwing it in the garbage, she noticed something in the recycle bin that was right next to the trash. It was a composition book, the kind people would use for girly shit, like journals.. There wasn't anything written on the black and white cover but there was a bix "x" where there would be a title for it. Beca picked it up and opened it to a random page in the middle.

_Dear me:_

_Today, no last night, I heard Beca talking in her sleep again. She said something about not wanting our love anymore, or not liking me anymore. It kinda scares me, honestly but I don't know what I'm supposed to do. She's talking in her sleep, I'm sure she doesn't have any control over what she's doing or saying._

_Dear me:_

_I'm really worried how this is all going to work out with the two of us. Her job is at night, and mine is during the day. We don't really get much time to talk. I'm scared we're going to fall apart._

The more that Beca read through, the more she realized she talked in her sleep a lot more than she did before and that she wasn't the only one who saw what was happening to their relationship. She flipped to the very last page.

_Dear me:_

_I think I need to end this. Sorry, Beca. You're probably snooping in here. I'm breaking up with you._

She slammed the thing down and ran out the door.

* * *

"Chloe!" Beca called as she walked down the street. "Chloe where are you?" She must look like an idiot looking for their lost dog or something. "CHLOE!" That one hurt a little. Maybe that was too loud.

She went on walking for another 5 minutes.

"Beca!" She whipped her head to the left.

"That God you're alright. I'm sorry."

Chloe hugged her. "No. I am. Seriously, I shouldn't have run off like that."

Beca chuckled. "Damn right."

"Hey now!" Chloe playfully slapped her arm. "We good?"

"We're good."

* * *

**A/N: I hope I did it justice...**


End file.
